Greetings, denizens of the Internet an iRacing artists,
We asked you to create ugly paint schemes, and like the Octo-Mom, you over-delivered.
The #CasmUglySchemeContest, in which the winner receives an amazing VIP iRacing package courtesy of iRacing, was a roaring success. So many downright hideous paint schemes were submitted. Selecting a winner was difficult. As the old saying goes, it was like trying to pick your least favorite child.
Judging was painstaking, as well as unsettling. One by one, each hideous abomination was analyzed for ugliness. Iâm honestly less repulsed when watching âDr. Pimplepopperâ videos on YouTube.
I wish we could give prizes to all of you, but as you all know, when it comes to creating paint schemes that induce nausea and dizziness, itâs a cutthroat world where there are no participation trophies.
I personally selected 12 finalists. From there, they were sent to an esteemed panel of judges, which included several NASCAR Digital Media supervisors and co-workers, iRacing executive vice president and executive producer Steve Myers, Kaz Grala, Corey LaJoie, and Ryan Truex if he ever actually responds to the DM.
The feedback from the judges was extensive, with many aesthetic critiques offered. âLooks like something from Forever 21,â said one judge. âWhat I was looking for here was the best balance of equal parts offensive and ugly, but also a scheme that I felt would have a legitimate shot to make it through NASCARâs approval process to get on a real car. To truly be an authentically ugly scheme like some of the all time greats, it has to make it through the approval process,â said an extremely thoughtful Landon Cassill. Nothing, said Ryan Truex, because again, he didnât reply to the DM.
So now, without further ado, your ugly-paint-scheme podium.
Third place, and winner of 100 iRacing credits: @RyanStone_GTA
Ryanâs incorporation of current events into his scheme is impressive. The âuglyâ comes not from the faces on the scheme, but rather the incident it references, which thankfully did not result in an actual fracas inside a chain restaurant. Plus, the rollerskating Morgan Shepherd on the roof is like the rug in âThe Big Lebowskiâ â it just really ties the car together.
Second place, and winner of 250 iRacing credits: snackpackdude
There is no greater tribute to such a beloved figure than this tribute to the late Grumpy Cat. Vivid colors that act as a visual metaphor for Grumpy Catâs bright personality. You look at this car and you hear âTrue Colorsâ by Cyndi Lauper and âCrossroadsâ by Bone Thugs Nâ Harmony simultaneously. We think Grumpy Cat would approve. Or probably not.
First place, and winner of an iRacing VIP package (2 years, with 2,000 credits): @Andrewtfawcett
SWEET, GLORIOUS ABOMINATION. The winner by a landslide, receiving 64 percent of the first-place votes (NOTE: Subject to change, depending on whether Ryan Truex actually replies to the DM with his picks). The gaudy, mismatched typefaces, the ghastly visage on the hood â to quote âSeinfeld,â âIt sickens meâŠand yet I cannot turn away.â We do not wish to know what all goes on inside Andrewâs mind â we only hope that whatever portions of it that created this monster have been cleared and will not create any more. Kudos, Andrew â we were thoroughly disgusted and impressed.
That said, a sincere thank-you to all who took the time to submit a paint scheme. I promise you that from the bottom of my heart, they were all disgusting in their own way. I am appreciative for all of you. Letâs do this again.
Off to fill an eyedropper with bleach and squirt it directly into my corneas,